I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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