Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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