So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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