I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
