32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize