Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
