I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
