I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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