your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My life is pants optional.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
