Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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