no, he came in my armpit
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
