Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
