sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm like, not good at living.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
