did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
