i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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