I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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