Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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