ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
