they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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