So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
