if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
