Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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