He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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