Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
