Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
how do flat chested girls get laid?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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