no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We're too hungover to prance.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
