he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
