i think my tv is drunk
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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