Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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