Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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