I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
