I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
