Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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