i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
