Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
