Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
