This dress was meant to end up on your floor
time to smoke my breakfast
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize