what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize