I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
