dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
