I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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