Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
