I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
