I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
