i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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