imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
