Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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