I wannas sexs uuuuu
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
