Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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