From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize